So I have been meaning to tell this story for a long time, I feel its time to do it, so here it goes.
Say we are hungry, really hungry and need to be fed, how we respond to this very much depends on our relationship to this hunger: how hungry we are, and how long we have been hungry, how aware of our hunger we are, etc.
In one scenario, some of us when hungry go to the kitchen and ask for food, the waiter answers all we have is rotten tomato and burnt bread. Being so hungry for so long, and being so desperate we beg to be fed the lousy food, but the waiter is firm and says no we are not giving you any of that. So you keep begging please please give me some of that, they say NO! we keep begging, he keeps saying NO. So we leave. We come back after a lil while and say we are hungry can we please have something to eat? The answer is sorry all we have is rotten tomato and burnt bread, again we cry, we plead, we beg, we implore him to feed us. Again the answer is NO. So crest fallen, hungry, desperate, heartbroken, angry, jaded, offended we leave. We come back and ask to be fed again. The waiter says all we have is rotten tomato and burnt bread. This time we just cant have any more of this we drop on the floor, we gravel, we cry, we implore, we beg, we beg, we beg. And finally basically to get rid of us more than anything they feed us rotten tomato and burnt bread. And bam! we are not hungry any more we feel victorious. We feel like we have won the lottery, we applaud ourselves for our incredible persistence, we tell others. And “best of all” we are not hungry any more, having fed ourselves the lousy tasting, toxic rotten tomato and burnt bread. Hell we might very well take a selfie of ourselves of our pride having received our coveted burnt bread and rotten tomato, and proudly share it on facebook.
In another scenario, some of us when hungry we go to the kitchen and ask for food, the waiter answers all we have is rotten tomato and burnt bread. We have been hungry yes, but we are NOT desperate. In fact we would rather stay hungry than have anything less than amazing put in our system. Our hunger, our need is not something to be gotten rid of, rather its a beautiful sign of what we need to do, where we need to go, like a powerful message from ourselves, from the universe. So we thank them graciously and take our leave without a moment of wasting our time begging for the lousy food, in fact we are so grateful the food is so clearly inedible and that we can make a very clear decision. So we leave without any feelings of bitterness or entitlement, just simply feeling its not our time yet. We come back again in a while ask for food again and the waiter says sorry all we have is burnt bread and rotten tomato. Again we take our leave graciously. We come back again in some time, again we hear they only have the lousy food. Its true we are really hungry at this time, but there is a core belief in us, that there is pronoia in the world that everything happens for a reason and that the Divine time table is not necessarily our time table. So we wait graciously, take our leave. We come back again, and this time when we say we are hungry. The waiter exclaims they are so happy to see us, that there is a feast thrown just for us. They lead us to this scrumptious table with magnificently delicious meals, gorgeous setting, fragrant dishes and fruits. There are people feeding us grapes, and people fanning us while eating, while we are actually getting fed in our body, mind and soul. In a situation like this we end up with people who acknowledge, understand, appreciate, embrace and celebrate us with this magnificent feast for just being uniquely us. At this point we see the wisdom the sheer wisdom of waiting and the sacredness of our hunger, and the genius of heeding our hunger rather than trying to get rid of it.
In another scenario we are not even hungry. Why are we not hungry? Because we have been feeding ourselves junk food pretty much unconsciously and consistently since the time we remember. We hardly remember the last time we were hungry, really beautifully and vulnerably and deeply and madly hungry. At least when we feel our hunger and do something about it even like getting rotten tomato and burnt bread we are doing SOMETHING. In fact if we have eaten enough lousy tasting food, and we have had enough of the cycle of abusing us and suffering through it, one day we might wanna stop the cycle and start looking for our feast. But when we are “happily” and numbly not hungry we will never do anything about it. Hell we would brag to others how our life is going well, and sometimes even pity others who are hungry. And of course there is those who bank on us buying their junk food and never actually reaching our actual Divine Hunger. Hell they would do anything to distract us from our hunger. They would give us any kinda “junk food” so that we would never get access to that sacred hunger.
And in the last scenario there are those of us who are hungry and we will ONLY eat burnt bread and rotten tomato. We will go hungry to the kitchen, when we are suddenly celebrated with a feast, we run the hell away. In our mind what the hell is wrong with them? Don’t they see I deserve only rotten tomato and burnt bread? Why would they wanna feed me something this delicious? They are crazy, so that means they are either trying to poison me, or there is some kinda evil plan to do something to me. When we are like this we go hungry to the kitchen, starving, but if they refuse to give us burnt bread and rotten tomato and instead invite us to the feast, we run away like mad. Hoping to come back next time and get what we deserve, rotten tomato and burnt bread.
So what would you do dear reader? How would you define your relationship to your hunger?